Monday, January 15, 2007

Sunday Morning Buffet: Zombies Q&A

Q. Are you undead?
A. As some of you already know, the "Undead" part of my name refers to my expertise in the field of revenant research and theory. Vampires and zombies are my métier.
Q. What does that mean, exactly?
A. Well, I do watch a lot of horror movies, but just doing that does not one an "expert" make. I've also developed an entire library of mostly non-fiction books on these topics, and written countless papers, essays, and articles.
Q. Uh, "Non-fiction"?
A. These are books which document and analyze the role of undead folks in mythology, folklore, literature, and film.
Q. Do you like Anne Rice?
A. No.
Q. Poppy Z. Brite?
A. No.
Q. Why not?
A. I'm not really a consumer of much fiction. I don't hate vampire fiction in particular, I just don't care for most fiction in general.
Q. Do you love The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z?
A. No, no, no, a large sack of No. It is very understandable that people might think I would enjoy these books and regard Max Brooks as an important purveyor of zombie preparedness. However, I (and many others in the necropocalypse community) find that Brooks' work is highly derivative and unoriginal to the point of plagarism. The only reason he was able to get his work published and so well publicized is that his daddy is Mel Brooks and he's got all kinds of entertainment industry connections.
Also, some of us have been discussing zombie preparedness and theorizing about zombie anatomy and physiology for a long time - long before Brooks came along. Then suddenly this book comes out and every jackass who reads it considers himself an expert. And we're subsequently accused of "ripping off" the Survival Guide. Goddamnit, it's really frustrating to be accused of imitating an incompetent, apathetic interloping newcomer who is a rip-off artist himself.
Q. You have way too much time on your hands. Zombies aren't real.
A. You think nobody's ever thrown that one at me before, genius? Give me a break. What kinds of "important" stuff do you spend your time on? Watching TV? You do realize that the characters on your TV shows also aren't "real", right? It's my hobby and it's no more or less valid than any other.
All of the following images are links!
Best Zombie Preparedness Website

Best Zombie Comic

My Favrite Zombie Movies


mendenhallZDO said...

fuck max brooks!

Undead Molly said...

Amen, brother Drew.

casey said...

Thanks for clearing that stuff up. Now I'm slightly less apt to offend you with my ignorant comments.

Undead Molly said...

Cathy's going to print this (an edited-for-length version) as her weekly post this week, so the whole state of Vermont will be less likely to offend me with their ignorant comments.

Undead Molly said...

By the way, Casey, I don't recall you ever making any ignorant zombie comments. In case you were fretting.

casey said...

I'm fairly paranoid in general.

Say, I had the pleasure of introducing Brooke to Return of the Living Dead a couple of days ago. It was very well received. How could it not be? It's the Repo Man of zombie flicks.

casey said...

Here's an example of my paranoia:

I can't help but wonder if you're insinuating that I regularly make other ignorant comments.

I'm pretty sure I do.

Undead Molly said...

You are such a silly goose. Casey, I don't recall you making any ignorant comments about any topic, ever. Really for reals. I heart you.

Anonymous said...

How about "I am Legend"?

Undead Molly said...

Oh, I really like I am Legend! I've read it twice. I like Dracula, too. Midnight Mass was a good short story and then the author extended it into a shitty novel. Aaaannnnnd... no, I can't think of anything else right now.

Scott Monroe said...

undead molly,

I just finished reading World War Z and I pretty much agree with your assessment. Brooks essentially stitched together every Hollywood zombie scene and retold it through shitty, fake dialogue.

Anyway, I'm hungry for something else. Do you have any nonfiction recommendations?

Undead Molly said...

Unfortunately 99% of the undead non-fiction is about vampires. Vampires have been a more popular subject of film and literature in the last 60 years or so because they're an easy metaphor for modern social and epidemiological phenomena such as AIDS, drug addiction, and promiscuity. Much more sexy and immediately relevant than the issues zombies generally bring up. They tend to be more hypothetical, philosophical, and cultural: the location/nature of human identity or "soul"; how we treat our elderly and/or demented; how we handle death and dying; how fragile and inflexible our society is - deteriorating rapidly if any one variable is tweaked. And of course all of the interesting things humans do to other humans in the absence of social structure and laws. Etcetera.

I've had a lot of people asking me about books, so I'll make a new post about it - I'll try to do it this weekend.